top 10 reasons the big ten is the best conference in the world

Not like we needed any.
10. Tim Tebow

I have no idea how I find these pictures.

Tim Tebow did not play for a Big Ten team. +1 points automatically for that.
9. True Stereotypes

Yes, Big Ten schools are located in farm towns where people have nothing to do except drink jungle juice. Yes, girls here are all “farmer’s daughters” types (well, some of them). And yes, our 100% corn diet and insanely cold winters make us better at all things football. Like the fact that we CAN play in 40 degree weather.

Side note: they should hold BCS bowl games at Kinnick in January.

8. False Stereotypes

Hi, I'm Brandon Wegher and I like screwing over people that have been nothing but good to me.

So it might have been the case in the past that Big Ten running backs were 6’3″, 240 pounds and slow as our lifestyle (another false one). Most teams have dropped this type of game, recruiting faster, more agile players wherever needed, and even using more than one running back in some cases.

Another side note: Eff you Brandon Wegher. You are obviously un-American freedom hater. I now know what it must have felt like when Brett Favre went to the Vikings.
7. Princeton Review

The Princeton Review is the Bible of Colleges. They rank them from the silliest things, like Best Classroom Experience and Best College Library, to important things like Party Schools and Students Pack the Stadiums. So lets take a look at the two important categories:

Party Schools:

Big Ten: Penn State, Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan State
SEC: Georgia, Florida, Mississippi
ACC: Florida State, Maryland
Big East: West Virginia
PAC-10: Zero!
Big 12: Texas, Colorado (moving to Pac-10 next season)

Students Pack the Stadiums:

Big Ten: Penn State, Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan State
SEC:  Florida, Alabama, Georgia
ACC:  Maryland, Boston, Virgina Tech
Big East: West Virginia
Pac-10: USC
Big 12:  Texas, Texas A&M, Nebraska (moving to Big Ten next season)

As you can see, the Big Ten dominates.

6. America’s Heartland


It started off as a stupid question from a reporter to Ricky Stanzi. How being from “America’s Heartland” made the win better turned into “If you don’t love it, leave it” turned into an awe-inspiring “U-S-A” chant at every Iowa football game. And during today’s SportsNation.
5. We aren’t wishy-washy

He doesn't have any original body parts left though

You don’t see JoePa retiring then unretiring because of health reasons (Brett Favre/Urban Meyer). AND HE’S 105 YEARS OLD!

4. Lets look at the rankings

I have no idea what this means

Andd this week’s AP Top 25:

Big Ten: Ohio State, Wisconsin, Iowa, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State
SEC: Alabama, Florida, Arkansas, South Carolina, LSU
ACC: Miami
Big East: West Virginia
Pac-10: Oregon, Arizona, USC, Oregon State
Big 12: Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska (moving to Big Ten next season)

The Big Ten has more top 25 teams than the SEC. Just saying.
3. Defense focused

*photo has been altered

Defense wins games. Duh.

2. Coasties

"I'm not sheltered, I just don't know how to make a sandwich. Or where Washington state is. Or Florida. Those places aren't even in the US."

Only people from the Milwaukee/Madison area might know that term, but it refers to people from the coasts (east or west). Recently, a plethora of them have been migrating to the Midwest for college and have not had quite a warm welcome. I’ve heard stories from friends that go to Wisconsin and Indiana about girls who can’t locate Iowa on a map and think Washington DC is in Florida.

No one in the Midwest is that dumb.

Also, coastie (the way Madison uses it) is also a term for girls from the Chicago Suburbs who think act like they are from the coast. According to Wikipedia and this picture, I am one. But I’m not dumb despite what my boyfriend might say.

I am wearing this exact outfit, actually.

1. Midwest in general

I would slap someone for some Eggs Benedict.

I could literally go on for days about how the Midwest is better than other place in the United States, and therefore Big Ten football is better. First of all, we are genuinely nice people. Servers ask how your day is (and mean it), and everyone says “please” and “thank you”. We don’t have stupid Boston accents. We don’t eat crazy vegan diets and obsess over plastic surgery like the West Coast. And we don’t screw people over just to climb the corporate ladder like New Yorkers. Our parents fill us up with meat and potatoes, make us play outside and get dirty, and get pissed when we don’t take our hats or sunglasses off inside. And it shows in football too. We all know that scene in Remember the Titans when Sunshine comes in from California and he’s basically an alien princess boy to these guys (yes, that movie is in Virginia. But you get the point).

Not to mention we have: beer, sauerkraut, bratwurst, Italian sausage and beef, deep dish pizza, Friday Fish Fry, Everclear (yay corn!), pot pies, pot roast, cheese, apple pie, and most importantly…BRUNCH. Midwest invented brunch. The whole world should be thankful.


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