top 10 iowa players i want by my side during a zombie apocalypse

I’ll just right to the chase: there are some gigantic, scary, oversized, straight-up Predator-in-tight-pants looking guys on that field and I am completely terrified of 100% of them. My entire body could be crushed just by accidentally looking at them in the eye. But if it were to come down to it, pair up with one of these guys are become zombie food, these are the ten guys I would want wielding machine guns and witty one-liners by my side.

10. Ryan Donahue

Everyone knows the two ways to kill a zombie: through the heart or separating its head from its body. One swift kick from Donahue would not only work better a machete (even if Billy Mays claimed it was the sharpest one in the world) but the freshly beheaded zombie would fall backwards with such force that it would behead others in a 10-yard radius.

the face of terror

9. James Vandenburg

He’s already faced the terror that is Ohio State defense in his first ever starting role. Facing zombies? Peace of cake.

8. Marvin McNutt

He’ll catch the zombie heads as quickly and as cleanly as Donahue kicks them.

7-5. Karl Klug/Broderick Binns/Christian Ballard


4. Paki O’Meara

Although not slated to do much this season, O’Meara proved to everyone in this last game that he is a force to be reckoned with. Anyone that goes from under the radar to Big Ten player of the week that quickly should catch on to zombie killing just as fast.

3. Ricky Stanzi

I’d follow Iowa’s faithful leader almost anywhere (maybe even the strange townie bar he’s in now) and a zombie revolution is one of them. Granted, it won’t be the safest, routine ride. He’ll have a lot of close calls with the undead, maybe they’ll catch a few of the grenades he throws and try to pitch ’em right back. But if you like living on the edge, this is the guy to follow.

And he'll be patriotic the whole time.

2. Josh Koeppel

Anyone that can bounce back from an accident like that must be invincible

1. Adrian Clayborn

This is a man that shows no mercy to his opponents. He incites fear in every man, woman, baby, and animal, dead or alive. When it comes down to it, I trust him more than Carl Weathers and Terry Crews combined.

And two people I would not trust:

I don’t think I need to explain.


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2 Responses to “top 10 iowa players i want by my side during a zombie apocalypse”

  1. Dave Schwartz Says:

    I dig the photos. Good list.

  2. 10 Players I Want on My Side for the Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse « Forbes's Canadian Hockey Blog Says:

    […] Zombie Apocalypse Jump to Comments Following in the footsteps of fellow Iowa student Kelly McPhee, I’ve come up with a list of 10 NHL players I want to be fighting with when the zombie […]

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