10. Penn State v. Minnesota
If Penn State can’t beat Minnesota, then all hope is lost.
9. Michigan on the bye
This emergency bye weekend (they were supposed to play but choose to eat Ben & Jerry’s and watch Lifetime, wondering where things went wrong instead) will give Michigan a bit of time f0r 1) D. Rob’s shoulder to recover, 2) look at these pictures, and 3) Put out a want ad for defensive line players.
8. Purdue v. no. 10 Ohio State
Crossing my fingers for a repeat of last year.
7. no. 7 Michigan State v. Northwestern
If there is one team that sucks in all categories except upsetting undefeated teams, it’s Northwestern. Maybe if they beat MSU this week, the craving for the taste of blood will subside by the time Iowa gets to Evanston.
6. Heisman Watch
Anddd it’s official! Ricky Stanzi is the Big Ten’s and America’s no. 1 prospect for the Heisman! He’s no. 3 in the nation for passing efficiency, only thrown 2 interceptions, and is miles away from the mistake-filled 2009 season.
5. no. 1 Oklahoma v. no. 11 Missouri
There are three games that put top 25 v. top 25 and none of those games should disappoint. I’m going with Oklahoma on this one, even though I love the Midwest AND brunch was invented in Missouri. I just don’t understand the whole concept of “Mizzou” being easier to spell/say than Missoui and they stole Iowa’s colors. Soon, they’ll steal our uniforms which we already stole from the Steelers.
4. no. 6 LSU v. no. 4 Auburn
This game will decide who has a shot at the National Championship. Both teams will be playing the best they have all season (hopefully) and not using any illegal means (chloroform, brass knuckles) to win.
3. no. 13 Wisconsin v. no. 15 Iowa
The Wisconsin game is one I look forward to all season, so it sucks that after this year the two teams won’t be able to meet as frequently. Wisconsin has just come off a great win knocking Ohio State out of the no. 1 position at Camp Randall. The Red Communists Badgers are notorious for doing well at their home stadium (and no so much on the road) and Camp Randall is one of the hardest stadiums to play in. Probably from all of the jumping. And the penny throwing. And that the student sections yell “F*** YOU” and “EAT SH*T” at each other–not at Iowa fans (I’ve never figured out why). But this time, Wisconsin is coming to Iowa City, Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. No jumping is tolerated and yelling curse words is not encouraged. But tailgating is, so Wisconsin fans will fit right in.
2. I can wear my favorite shirt
It says, “Wisconsin Girls Have Cottage Cheese Thighs”. I hate cheese.
1. Family Weekend
My BF’s family is coming into town. He’s from Milwaukee. They are all Badger fans, except his parents are slowing converting. His sisters are a 25-year-old lawyer and a 28-year-old ESL teacher. They like to get drunk and mean as rattlesnakes and take vodka shots at 8am.